Behind Closed Doors
by Hyzenthlayfox
Summary: It is said that you learn a new thing every day. Heisuke on one fateful morning learns the value of being more aware of his surroundings. This lesson extends to right outside his room as disaster tends not to have the courtesy of knocking before barging in.


This fic. THIS FIC. To tell the truth, I am embarrassed to write such a thing, but this idea would simply not leave me alone until I wrote it. I was considering to make a separate account just for this thing but I thought to myself: "Fuck it. No one I know knows my fanfiction account, and if they did I would doomed anyway, M rated fanfic or not. So might as well keep it in one place."

I also considered to attempt to make it rated teen, but given the content I am slightly fucked. Even if I used the most beat around the bush terminology ever it's still a little heavy to be rated teen. What is actually happening will not change. So I just went with M and was able to elaborate a little more (for better or for worse). It's a lighter M, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

* * *

As the morning light slightly illuminated the paper walls, it could be clear to all that witnessed it that a new day has begun. As it was the beginning of summer, the temperature in the room was already quite hot: a gentle foreshadowing of the day to come. While it is true that the young man that was sitting up in his bed have subconsciously picked up on such a fact, the slight moan that came out of his mouth and the slight blush that crept along his cheeks suggested that he mind was on other things.

His lack of pants and the fact that his slender hands were around his cock was admittedly another clue.

Chi-Chizuru," he found himself moaning, breathing heavily as he pumped his throbbing dick up and down with his hand. He could feel himself being almost there as the girl in his mind cried out in ecstasy once again. He could just imagine the blush on her face and he thrust into her again and again, their breathy moans coming out in a scandalous, ancient version of a love song.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he wasn't aware of a door opening and a figure preparing to come in.

"Heisuke-kun? Did you ne-" A female voice started then stopped suddenly.

For Heisuke, it felt like time slowed down and started to feel surreal as he was harshly snapped back into reality. He looked up in horror as each second stretch to what felt like an eternity. The look of shock reflected in each other's faces, their faces drained of any colour. He tried to make a sound but all the ended up doing was a poor impression of a fish out of water.

"I- I heard m-my name so I th-thought you needed something." Chizuru finally managed to mutter, trying to look anywhere but at the elephant in the room. To be fair, an elephant probably would have been less awkward.

"Oh." Heisuke managed to say. He was still frozen to the spot, complete with dick in hand and mouth agape, but at least he managed to find his voice so that's something. By now, the blood reached their faces again and their entire faces was the colour of the setting sun.

"W-well I got to go, I have to help Hijikata-san brush Saito-san's eyelashes!" Chizuru said quickly and at several octaves higher than normal, with that distinctive way that one knows that they are trying to sound normal but is failing miserably. Heisuke barely even noticed her excuse. It's times like these that one realizes the truth in the matter that sometimes, any excuse is a good excuse. Usually Chizuru is a very polite and calm woman in the Shinsengumi headquarters, always entering and leaving with an air of grace, but this time she more or less clambered out of there like an clumsy animal in her haste to leave. To her credit, she at least did not tear through the door on the way out and managed to close the door, something that Heisuke might have been grateful of if his mind wasn't out of commission at that moment.

About three seconds after she left, Heisuke finally was able to move again, and quick as a flash he let go of his cock like it was on fire, which thanks in part to it, it felt like his face was. As a silver lining to the situation, at least his body decided at some point during the walk-in-during-wanking incident that now is not a good time to be turned on. Nothing like a good embarrassment of a lifetime to kill a boner.

Instead of what he thought he would be doing by now, he went back under the covers and covered his face with him hands and groaned.

"Oh my fucking god," he muttered to his hands, wanting to believe it was a horrible dream but knowing otherwise.

One moment he was close to completion, and the next the girl that was supposed to be only in his mind is instead in the real world, clothed, and looking at him as if he grew three heads. And what could he manage to say to her? 'Oh'? Fucking 'oh'? Heisuke groaned again. That's not what a man would say in this situation. Then again, what kind of man was he to be caught doing _that_ as a _girl_ walks in? Though, there could be no doubt for her that he was a man now, he thought morbidly. While on the outside he was hiding his face in his hands and curled up in the fetal position, on the inside, he was in that strange state where one feels like sobbing and stabbing out their eyes at the same time. It was times like this that he wished he was out on the battlefield. There you are trying your best not to die, but in the heat of the battle, it very well might happen anyway. Here it was the exact opposite. No matter how much you want to disappear from the world, there was no escaping one's horrible luck.

He was doomed. Chizuru will think he some of pervert. Some things are meant to be private, and this was _definitely_ one of those types of things. It's not like he could have ignored it either and pretended that it wasn't there. One time he got a surprise boner when he a couple of years ago during dinner. Shinpachi noticed and decided to let everyone know via teasing him. He was known to him and Sanosuke as "Hardy Heisuke" for a month. Fucking douchebags, as if it didn't happen to them before.

Oh maybe that is so ancient history for them they don't remember about it. Who knows.

 _Oh fuck._ He had to greet them soon. As much as he didn't want it to at the moment, time marches on, and he knew he couldn't stay in his room forever. He numbly got up from his futon and got dressed for the day. As much as he loved Chizuru, if that girl cross any of their paths, the likelihood of her acting as if nothing happened believably is about as likely as Shinpachi getting a lady without paying for her first. If anyone interacted with her, Heisuke will already know what will greet him. Hijikata will have an annoyed look on his face, Okita will be the poster child of amusement, Shinpachi will have a stupid smirk across his lips, Sanosuke will join in on any fun that Shinpachi is having, and Saito will look like he doesn't give a shit.

He was not the best with words at the best of times, and there was no elegant way of saying, 'Well the chick walked in while I was fucking myself. Whoops,' so he had to think of a better idea.

He braced himself and opened the door. As he entered the common room, it seemed like he was correct and everyone had the same expressions as in his worse case scenario.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath.

"And good morning to you too Heisuke. Way to show respect with a greeting like that, you little brat." Shinpachi said, with a slight edge to his voice. Heisuke was about to reply with a snarky comment before Okita decided to utter the topic of his fears.

"It seems as if Chizuru-san is a little flustered today. Do you have any idea why?"

Of fucking course Okita would bring up the worse topic. That man had a way of knowing the worse time to bring up topics and press on them like a child told not to do something. Heisuke could relate, but for him, it was accidental because his mouth tended to outrun his mind, but not Okita. He was the type to look you in the eye as he rocked the boat, calculated like a war general planning for battle. No wonder Hijikata acted like he had a stick up his ass; Okita probably was shoving it in deeper and deeper, one antic at a time. Sure him, Shinpachi and Sanosuke hung out a lot at Shimabara, but really, it isn't the same. Really.

Well, time to roll out the excuse. Remember: be natural.

"O-oh that? N-no problem ha ha ha. Funny story actually. She saw a cockroach and she freaked out. I got it for her. It's not a big deal b-but you know how girls are and all. It's dead. It's definitely dead." Heisuke said slightly too quickly. _Shit, I'm fucking shit with words._ Sanosuke and Okita raised an eyebrow at this.

"...Is everything all right, Heisuke-kun?" Saito said, with a slight concern. Heisuke could have sworn that it seemed slightly mocking but he could never tell. _Uh-oh they are not buying it_.

"Yeah, did that cockroach take you down? You seem rather shaken." Sanosuke added with a laugh.

"It probably did. Heisuke is such a runt that it probably knocked him out flying at him." Shinpachi replied to him as he and Sanosuke grinned at each other.

"Fuck off, Shinpat-san." Heisuke snapped. He was hoping that this was going to go better than this. They both looked like they were insulted, but in reality it was a weak front of how amused they were. They opened their mouths but a different, annoyed voice beat them to the chase.

"That's enough! Heisuke, don't tell me that you forgot it is your turn to cook?"

Oh thank god. With all the incidents earlier, he actually did forget. He mostly likely would have remembered if the embarrassment of a lifetime didn't come and greet him this morning. Either way, it wouldn't do to turn away from this glorious opportunity, and even though Hijikata was giving him a glare that only the oni himself could give, he was quite thankful for the interruption. He basically jumped up to go complete the task. He could only hope that everyone interpreted that was enthusiasm of not wanting to get the tar beaten out of him, and considering it _was_ Hijikata, the likelihood of that interpretation was a 50-50 chance.

He got to work with the cutting and getting the water to a boil. As he was busy cutting up a turnip, he heard a door open behind him. He could have sworn he heard a slight gasp.

He turned around and lo and behold, it was Chizuru. Her eyes were slightly widened with surprise before her cheeks were tinged with red.

Well crap, of course she remembers, thought Heisuke.

"G-good morning." She greeted him.

"Good morning!" He said back, a little bit more loudly than he intended. It took him a little bit to realize what she was doing here, other than just walking in everywhere that Heisuke managed to be that morning. Chizuru often helped with breakfast, given if she had free time at that moment. It was just blind luck that she so happened to finish the laundry before Heisuke could finish with the meal.

Chizuru, for better or for worse, seemed to have decided to stick to her initial intention to help him. She set to work making the rice as a heavy, uncomfortable silence filled the air. Oh at least, it did for Heisuke. As stupid of a reason as it might of sounded before, Sanosuke might have been on to something with the Seppuku idea. He was already mentally stabbing himself anyway, so doing it for real and saving himself from this situation didn't seem far of a stretch. Something honourable would at least be salvaged from this mess.

He needed to say something. Anything. He wasn't the type to have a fondness of silence, and when they are soiled with awkwardness they would be the death of him.

"I'm ...uh." He managed to choke out before realizing it. _Oh damn it I started speaking before I knew what I'm going to say. Think of something._

"Sorry," he managed to hack out in a whisper. Chizuru still managed to hear him, and froze from her task. She turned around to look at Heisuke. She tried her best to smile, but it looked a little weird with the blush on her face.

"Oh! Don't worry about it... I was just surprised. I heard my name and..." She tapered off, while looking to the left.

Oh. He forgot all about him calling out her name. Well that manages to makes things even worse.

"I- uh - didn't know you were there..." Heisuke muttered. _Well duh, or else you wouldn't have called out her name. This wasn't an erotic art print._

"I'm sorry, I should have been more careful before coming into your room. It's just that-" Chizuru blushed more heavily. "Your voice sounded more... strained, and urgent. I thought you needed me."

 _Well that's one way of putting it._

Heisuke wasn't sure what to say. What he was _thinking_ is how he, his hormones and his dick was not on the best of terms right now, but that is hardly appropriate to say to her. The only possible silver lining of all this is how a traitorous part of his brain notices how cute Chizuru blushing is and simply _must_ be stored away for future references. It's like it knew that Heisuke's primary thoughts of never touching himself again is going to be broken sooner or later, so might as well not look a gift horse in the mouth.

When Heisuke continued to say nothing, Chizuru continued.

"Well, I guess being in a compound of men it was bound to happen. I'll try to be more careful when going into everyone's room in the future. I'm just glad it was you." Her eyes widened and she clamped her hands over her mouth.

Wait, what? His brain races with the potential meaning that was uttered. Did that mean what he thinks that could mean? On the surface it was obvious. Not that one could imagine Hijikata to ever partake in such a thing, but if he did, having Chizuru walk in could only spell disaster. But what if-

"Ah sorry! That came out wrong! I only meant that, uh, everyone else would probably be less... understanding. I'm sorry, I sounded really weird there." She said quickly, looking and acting extremely flustered. _Ah so that_ was _it. Well fuck...I think._

"Uh, no problem?" Heisuke offered, confused in more ways than one, but trying to save whatever face he had left and trying to show only the upper layer of it.

"Sorry." She said again, not as much to him as to her feet. This conversation was weird from the beginning but it was now spiraling downward in a burst of flames. He needed to get to get things away from this topic and to never return to these unfortunate times.

"Well don't worry about it, Chizuru-chan." He beamed at her as an idea popped into his mind. "Hey, how about we go to the next festival together?" The sooner that their previous relationship gets back on track the better it was. He thought that it would be a suitable apology, and besides, Chizuru wasn't able to get out much.

She nodded, as her eyes flashed with happiness, which must be contagious because Heisuke felt the same way. Without a word, they then turned to help finish up cooking their meal, the silence admittedly being a lot more conformable than the first time round. When completed, she helped him bring in the food as the spotted Shinpachi and Sanosuke in the halls.

"Ahh Chizuru- san! Good morning. " Shinpachi grinned a greeting at her. She spotted the food that was in her hand. "Oh and you bring us food? You really are a goddess, you know that?" He said with his back to Heisuke. Heisuke grunted.

"Shinpachi, it's rude to ignore Heisuke: cockroach slayer, saviour of women." Sanosuke walked up to Heisuke and put him hand on his shoulder. "Our little man's finally growing up. I am so proud." He confessed, wiping a fake tear from his eye. Normally Heisuke would have said something, but he just stood there, hoping that there was not a look of horror on his face or that of confusion on Chizuru. He never bothered to tell Chizuru about the cockroach thing, and it seems like that decision was biting him in the ass now. He had a quick look over to her. He saw a glimpse of her face that had a ghost of questions that flashed her eyes before realization as their eyes met.

"Oh yeah. I was lucky." She said. _Ahh, good on you Chizuru. That's about as neutral as you can get for not knowing the backstory, yet being a worthy donation of the saving my ass fund,_ thought Heisuke in relief.

"Ah, I guess Heisuke really is a man. After all he has had a pretty eventful morning, hasn't he? I'm surprised he has the time." Shinpachi grinned at Heisuke as he took a bowl from Chizuru.

"Yeah, he even asked a girl out on a date. All without asking if Chizuru can have permission to go out from Hijikata-san? How bold." Sanosuke glanced knowingly down at Hesiuke with a grin. All sense of relief left him. He should just give up on anything going well today. _Well except for the festival with Chizuru thing. Gotta keep your eyes on the prize, Heisuke._

"H-Hey, it's not like that." Heisuke retorted on reflex.

"Oh my, I wonder what other reason could it be?" With a knowing glace, he and Shinpachi turned to leave, ignoring Heisuke's sputterings. As they walked away Sanosuke, not bothering to look at Heisuke's expression, said:

"Be careful, Heisuke. You never know who's behind closed doors."

* * *

Well there you have it. Heisuke is my favourite, so writing a fanfiction about him was a joy (there is not enough fanfiction about him anyway. There is never enough lol). However, how this equals to me must writing him in a masturbation fic I'll never know. I hope you're happy mind *shakes fist*. It made me write sinful, sinful things lmao.

I haven't written in a long time and is my first time for Hakuouki, so my apologies if everyone sounded OOC. I THOUGHT I had a solid grasp of the characters and then I write them and I'm like "?, Is this what he would say in this exact situation? I don't know/but I need him to say that damn it *angsts*" There was a couple of parts that I'm like "hmmm... this doesn't sound right", but I couldn't figure out how to fix it with it still being there, so most times I just kept as is. I tried to make it as less cringy as possible for these possible OOC moments.

I read somewhere that he has a thing for festivals, so that's why they are going to one later. When writing it I could relate to Heisuke in that scene; I also needed a way for them to stop talking, so a festival it is.

I also have this huge headcanon that Heisuke has a thing for Chizuru pretty early on, so this has a wide range of time this could take place in. Where exactly his "gotta look cool for the gurl. I'm rated M for manly" ends (well as we see in his route, that never actually ends per say lol) and his feelings begins is a little blurry but I still say it's pretty early. The only problem is that it makes it even more sad for him as you play the other routes, because he has to watch everyone take the girl that he likes, and yet he doesn't act like a little bitch about it (either that I'm wrong lol). Like "my little cinnamon bun, noooooo. I'm sorry, dude" Then you usually have to hear/watch him die like you do everyone else. Like damn it Hakuouki and your roller coaster of feels.

Sorry I'm rambling. That type of thing should be for my tumblr, not the end of fanfics. Anyway, I had fun writing this one, so I hope you guys had fun reading it as well! Bye for now!


End file.
